Thankful for those three days that we got to spend together and those three mornings that I got to wake up with you sleeping next to me. I think people underestimate the beauty of falling asleep next to someone they care about. There’s no better feeling than knowing you’re safe and secure and genuinely content with who you are and where you’re going. Though I wish our time together could’ve lasted longer, I now anxiously await September where we can be reunited once again.
There are some nights where I sleep great and can make it through the night no problem.. And then there are others where I wake up restless at 1:30 in the morning with a tear-stained pillow and an aching heart. We are one month removed and I’m still scared- scared that this hole in my chest will never really stop throbbing or worse, that maybe one day I’ll be numb enough to feel nothing at all. Because I don’t want to be numb, I want to heal. I want to be able to laugh without feeling guilty and tell people my day’s been genuinely good. I just want everything to go back to normal, but that’s a pile dream because this nightmare we’re living has become our reality, our new normal.
From the Huffington Post:
When filmmaker James Marcus Haney traveled to Seattle in early June to shoot the video — and to spend time with his college-aged younger brother, Turner — he aimed to capture the rawness of youth by filming Turner and his circle of friends.
"I wanted to document the actions and emotions of people at this age — the highs, the lows, the noteworthy and the mundane," Haney said in an interview with NPR. “I wanted to get inside what it feels like to be a teenager today. On a personal level, I wanted to freeze the last remnants of youth still left in my brother — to record him in this tender, fleeting age of early college years.”
However, no one expected what happened next.
During the filming process, on June 5th, former janitor Aaron Ybarra, 26, opened fire at Seattle Pacific University, killing one student and wounding two others, according to police.
The deceased victim, Paul Lee, was a friend of Turner’s.
This is my school, some of those people are my friends. This is real life and it is happening and it’s nothing like they told us it would be.